I have been avoiding to turn this blog into a "negative journal" but it's hard to stop myself from writing especially that I'm in the hardest point of my life.
Been losing the zest. Intentionally searching for a tangible purpose of living. What do I live for? Who do I live for? Why do I have to survive and live until tomorrow.
Should I have known about Club 27, I could have joined them. But I'm not doing it. I don't want to be a loser. I want to inspire myself and someday inspire people. If I'd do it, it is not going to be celebrated since it is a taboo in my location. People would see it as a jinx. My sister is right. I have the education, the guts, the talents, etc.
Peer is significant. Vying to see or hear from somebody who thinks or acts the way I do. I'm in a new company but everyone thinks about money, about earning. No pleasure. The pleasure of living. The beautiful things, vintage building, lovely music.
Hunger for money is overwhelming in Manila.