Struggling smoker

I am a struggling smoker. I smoke one pack a day. The recently introduced Marlboro Black is making my habit worse, leaving me burning one and a half pack a day.

Been a lazy unrealistic dreamer lately. I draw and design. It pulls me away from the harsh reality of life- and I am loving it. Addicted to it.

Colors fill my soul, they twist my mind and I am loving it.

Like crayons thrown from the bridge, they may be beautiful but not to where they may land.

I do not understand what I am writing.

This is chaos.